Holland Glen

Lymerics

There was a young lady from Fresno
Whose Daddy was old "Mr. Says no."
When she asked for some money,
Her dad replied, "Honey,
Oh no, for you know I have no dough."

Jokes & More Humor


Under the Sea

My husband was kidding around one day while we were discussing marine travel and the armed forces working in the oceans of the world.  With a twinkle in his eye, he remarked, "I always wanted to be the captain of a nuclear powered submarine."  He went on, "And I would christen my boat the S.S. Optimal."  When I questioned him as to why he had chosen that particular name, he continued, "that way I could always be working at a sub-Optimal level!"


Overheard in a Diner
 "If I could have a piece of that berry pie and you had a feather up your nose, we'd both be tickled pink!" 




Those Teenage Years & the Learning Curve

BLYTHE OR BLIGHT?

In discussing the birth sir-name of our forty-second president, William Jefferson Blythe Clinton, my sixteen year old daughter asked, “Isn’t ‘blithe’ a thing that happens to plants?”
I answered, “No, blithe means sort of ‘happy-go-lucky’, free-spirited.”  To which she replied, “Oh, I guess I was thinking of blight --- that disease that ruins a plant.”

THAT'S PUNNY!

Seventeen year old Stephanie and I were discussing marriages between former Catholic priests and former nuns when she came up with the following variation on the theme of "The Animal Fair"

The Monk, he liked to pun,
And when he proposed to the Nun,
The Monk was so pleased,
He fell down on one knee,
And that was the end of the Monk, the Monk, etc.…

After they have said their vows and are ready for presentation to the crowd of witnesses, the preacher quips, "We'll have Nun of that Monk-eying around from now on!"


Letter to Mom from a Grownup Daughter

Dear Mom, 

Thought you might want to share this bit of humor on your website.

During labor with my first baby, as the contractions grew in strength, I was feeling very worn out.  The anesthesiologist who was to give my epidural came in and asked me about medication problems I might have, allergies etc.  When she asked, "Do you have any problems with sleep?" 

I was so tired, I answered with a straight face, "Yeah...I drool!" 

She didn't know what to do with that.
 
Lovingly your daughter,
 
Stephanie



Here's a Funny Song by Oscar the Grouch that just Makes Us Laugh!

Song Lyrics That didn't Make It

Sizzle While You Jerk
sung to the tune of Whistle While You Work
(A lousy song about the Green Mile)